Choosing Godly Leaders & Finding Your Fit in Church

The passage tells us to choose our leaders (shepherds) based on their lifestyle. If they are living a godly lifestyle, we must follow and imitate it. In his book Help Me to Fit in My Own Church, T.D. Jakes tells us not to choose them for any other reasons—not due to their church size, charisma, or what they say. The fruit of their lives should be evident.

I remember when I lived in Florida, my former pastor said that if we heard, knew, or even saw that he was cheating on his wife (who was a stronghold in his life previously), we were to leave, not pray for him and stay, but to leave and pray for him. He said that if sin was in the camp, then Satan was also there.  As Mr. Jakes said, “Your pastor should have some positive results from his or her conduct. They might start struggling, but eventually, there should be some fruit.”

Too many people choose a pastor based on everything but their life. I’m fortunate enough to have had the wisdom to choose godly pastors as my shepherds. I have been in churches where I immediately knew I would not fit in. Others took me time to realize that. When I first moved to Memphis, I visited a few churches that I saw on television (some that I saw on television, I just totally ignored. I sometimes get uneasy feelings about those who are in the kingdom. I have a feeling that something is not right, but I can’t put my finger it). 

I was never one for church hopping; seeing the different types of atmospheres within the churches was an eye-opener. But I knew that I couldn’t connect to their vision. It wasn’t much about how the service was run but their vision and what they were doing to further it. One thing that I’ll keep repeating is that I “need the word.” I don’t (and the majority of the body of Christ doesn’t either) have time for playing. I know that God’s kingdom needs to be furthered.  

The second thing I want to touch is having a godly spiritual leader.

The third thing that I want to touch on is the passage in the book that says God must remove our rough edges to help us fit into the church that we are in. God placed me here for a reason, and that’s where I’m to stay and grow. 

I never agree with everything that a pastor says. Will I obey them if they are teaching the word? Yes. Will I follow them if they have a calling from God to do a particular thing and it is according to the word? Of course, I will. There are some things a pastor is doing that I don’t necessarily agree with or think will succeed, but I keep that to myself. But I understand it's not a big deal as long as it doesn’t cause me to compromise my walk with the Lord.

Another thing Mr. Jakes said that stuck with me was: “Get involved. Become contributors of your time, your energies, and your finances. When you serve, God gives you a special grace and anointing. It will never be attained through a tape or a book. It comes from yielding yourself to the work of the Lord.”

I remember when I started volunteering my time to clean up the church while I was looking for a new job. I needed something to occupy my time (there was no need to give the devil room to play), and the blessings started immediately. I don’t think many people realize that when they get busy with God’s business, God will get busy with their business. I was once one of those people, but I’m happy to know that now. My love for the Lord and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ is shown through my work in the local church.

In closing, I really enjoyed the book, and Mr. Jakes provided much insight into how I need to fit into my church. 

From Rituals to Freedom: Escaping the Church Tradition Trap

I wanted to understand why people choose and stayed with traditional/denominational churches when they knew they were still living like they were never saved.

When I first became saved, I went to an AME church because that’s what my family did, but I didn’t stay long (maybe six months) because I wanted the word and was not getting it there. Even as a babe in Christ, I knew I wasn’t growing and desperately wanted to. I didn’t (and still don’t) understand why it has to take so long for a person to realize that it’s time for a change. 

“There is a big difference between Christianity and 'Churchanity, '” said Apostle AR Williams in his book, My Escape from the Trap of Tradition. “Most of us have only known church and not Christ.” I think that may be the most profound statement in the book and the biggest problem in the body of Christ. Most Christians don’t want to serve Jesus, but instead they want traditions and all the trappings that come along with it. They want to say that they went to church and believe in God to deflect condemnation (from themselves) or perceived judgment from others, but God knows.

I also think that some people see church as a social club. It’s not about God, it’s about them and their fellowship with man. It’s okay to spend time with fellow Christians, but something not right when you go to God's house and ignore Him. It’s bad enough to not even think about Him when away from Him, but when you’re in His presence, and ignoring Him, that’s a slap in the face.

Mr. Williams also said, “People are more denominationally-conscious than they are God-conscious.” I thought back to when I first became a Christian, was looking for a church, and went to the AME church. The pastor took me on a tour of the church and told me about their programs. After seeing how they operated and noticing that tradition and the programs were being sent out and not the word of God, I had to leave. I don’t think a person can serve in a ministry if they don’t understand the word.

Someone once said that God will put you in the church you want to be in. If you want to be in a church where the choir is award winning, then God will find you a church like that. If you want to be in a church with a wonderful child care center, God will put you there, too. I thought, “But what if the word is not going forth? Will God still put you there?” Now, I’m smart enough to be able to answer my question.

Another thing that I noticed was how the church constantly exalts man over God. Does it not hurt God that people are worshiping man over Him? It is one thing when the world does it; they don’t know any better, but we do. 

Those Who Seek to Destroy the Vision of a Church (Video)

People with aggressive or assertive behaviors often struggle to submit to a church's preexisting vision. They tend to want to come in and alter the vision without realizing that their actions may be disruptive. 

While their intentions may be good, their actions can often unintentionally damage the church's community. 

For instance, an aggressive person may try to take on too many leadership roles within the church, which can create tension and conflict among members.

Alternatively, an assertive person may inadvertently ignore the needs of introverted members, making them feel unwelcome and unvalued. 

To avoid these problems, it is important for people with aggressive or assertive behaviors to learn how to submit to a pre-existing vision. Only then can they truly help to improve the church community.

Why Don't People Go To Church (Video)

Churches focus on welcoming people who come through their doors without investigating why so many don't.

Don't Be Nosy (Video)

Some people go to church just to hear what's going on in other people’s lives. Don't be one of them! Have a great day, and thanks for staying informed with us this past year.

Why Do You Go To Church? (Video)

Some people go to church just for nosiness. Don't be one of these individuals! Have a great day, and remember that God loves you unconditionally regardless of whether there are sins on your hands!

5/80

I read that 5% of church members do 80% of the work. It shouldn't be like that.

Gift From God (Video)

I smile when I think about people who "open" their gift from God and immediately run to see what someone else got and then - want what they have! People do that a lot in churches. And that's why I don't like when people play with God. It bothers me so much. 

If they reject the gift that God gave them, then they'll reject the blessings too.

The Difference Between Submission and Agreement (Video)

There is a difference between submission and agreement. Submission is not when you agree with what the pastor said. It only comes into play when you disagree with the pastor. 

I never agree with everything a pastor says. But will I obey them if they teach the word? Yes. Will I follow them if they have a calling from God to do a particular thing, and it is according to the word? Of course, I will. 

There are some things that a pastor is doing that I don’t necessarily agree with or think will succeed, but I keep that to myself. But I also understand that as long as it doesn’t cause me to compromise my walk with the Lord, then it’s no big deal to me. 

Stop Being a Benchwarmer for God (Video)

I remember when I went to church early to clean. When I finished, I went to the sanctuary and began to pray. I was deep in prayer when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Someone told me that the pastor had sat his garbage outside of his office door and that it needed to be emptied. Did I tell them "to wait a minute and let me get this prayer request in?" Of course not. I jumped up and emptied the garbage can. We are to be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem. There was a problem, and it needed to be solved, and I did it.